There’s a million different ways to get an important dialogue started and get the world to pay attention, though perhaps none better than by taking people’s breath away with a laugh! On sex and dating, Manhattan-based comedian Mary Beth Barone has a lot to say.
Self-proclaimed “America’s Stepdaughter,” and also known as a “deadpan darling,” Mary Beth has blessed the New York comedy scene with her keen and hard-earned insights. At only 28, she’s already secured a stand-up residency at PUBLIC Hotel NYC, been named one ofComedy Central’sUp Next, seen on Viceland and Double Homicide, and been featured inForbesandBuzzfeed(to name a few). She’s a young voice for women, killing the game in a male dominated field.
Among Mary Beth’s many projects isDrag His Ass: A Fuckboy Treatment Program, a live, stand-up show she created and hosts about fuckboys. As we all know, fuckboys come in many forms. Can’t you just picture him? Clarks laced up, vape in hand, cockiness gushing out of his pores? His IG feed is bursting at the seams there are so many half-naked babes on there, and he only seems to remember your number at 2:47am?
Odds are, you’ve dealt with a fuckboy before.All stereotypes aside, we know these dudes. They’re disrespectful. They’re deceiving. They might even believe they’re honest about their intentions, but they play with your feelings and prioritize their cumming over your well-being.
To hear more about Mary Beth’s approach to fuckboys, her motivations in comedy, and the hurdles she’s faced, we sat down to ask her a few questions.
Tell us about your show,Drag HisAss: A Fuckboy Treatment Program?
Drag His Ass is a fuckboy treatment program. I originally started the show to talk about my process of getting over my fuckboy addiction (a six-step process! you can find out more about atmy shows). And then I decided to invite other comedians to come on to talk about their experiences with fuckboys.
The first show was these other comedians and I telling our sides of each story, but for the second show, I had a fuckboy come on stage and we did a fuckboy redemption. THAT was a lot of fun, so every show since then we’ve had the redemption as the final segment. And it’s so great! We really do want to create a community, and to bring people together over not such a fun topic.
What’s the audience like for the show?
The audience is usually a lot of women, and a lot of gay guys, but for the last few shows, as word’s gotten out, more straight guys are trickling in. I think it’s a good point of entry for everyone to learn about the topic because, although we are dragging people, what I say in the show is that a fuckboy can look like anything. We’re not just dragging straight dudes: anyone can be in the line of fire!
I feel so lucky to have such a great group of people that come and support the show, because it really sets the tone and lets the comedians have fun with what they’re doing. We do it in New York and in LA, so look out for dates in 2020.
What’s your message with these shows?
From what I’ve seen, after years of experience with dating and fuckboys, I don’t think anyone on either side is having fun. The fuckboys aren’t really feeling fulfilled, and the victims of fuckboys aren’t having fun either.
So what I would like to do is try to help heal dating in general, because I feel like we’ve lost the plot a little bit. Dating should be fun, and it hasn’t been for me in a long time. There just seems to be a lot of tension and anxiety surrounding dating nowadays. I’m sure it’s exacerbated by things like texting and social media. In general, we all need to do better.
Can anyone *really* rehabilitate a fuckboy?
I think so, but they have to want to change. My approach with rehabilitating fuckboys has been a lot of communication and unpacking their habits: what makes them this way? Are they really happy with their dating life as it is now?
I can put in hours and hours of work, and hold people accountable, but if they themselves don’t want to change, then they’re not going to. It has to start with them. And I think a part of that could be not hooking up with them, because people have no incentive to change if they’re going to keep getting what they want.
Want to keep haters away? Try our #insta-famousF*ckboy Repellent. Every fuckboy’s nightmare!
What inspired you to speak out about fuckboys?
I’ve had a lot of experience with fuckboys. I’ve been single for three-and-a-half years, so I’ve been on a lot of dates and I’ve hooked up with a lot of bad people – some good ones, but a lot of bad ones. At a certain point, I just said, “you know what, I can’t do this anymore.”
As a babe with the power, I decided that I don’t have to let things happen to me; I can be in control of who I’m letting into my life. So I decided I wasn’t going to let fuckboys in anymore. And I’ve been doing that for about eight months. You know, I’ve relapsed a couple times, but in general, I feel like I’m in a good place with my “addiction” and I’m just trying to stay focused on what’s important.
Any advice or words of wisdom you could give on navigating the dating scene or relationships?
You’ve got to know what you’re looking for, know what you want, and always be checking in with yourself. In the past I’ve kind of wavered on what I’m looking for. At the beginning of this year, I thought I wanted to be in a relationship, and then for a long time, I thought I didn’t. And now I don’t know exactly what I’m looking for. But it’s really hard to be in a good dynamic with someone if you don’t know what you want out of it. And that’s something I’ve definitely struggled with.
What helps me in those situations is making sure to communicate. Like I said, you want to be checking in with yourself, but also checking in with the other person. If you’re making your feelings known and you’re putting yourself out there, which can be really hard to do, you’re being upfront with the person and that’s what’s important.
So fuckboys and dating aside, are you yourself out to break any stigmas?
Just being a woman in comedy, there’s inherently stigmas, because people think that women aren’t funny. That’s so crazy to me. How could you say that half of the population just isn’t funny? Being a woman in comedy is kind of an act of resistance. There’s a lot of pressure that comes along with it, you have to make sure you’re always at your best. That’s something I’m happy to take on because I’m not scared of a challenge, it’s like, okay, bring it on.
Speaking of stigmas, how do you feel about stigmas around women who are sexually active and carry condoms?
I think thatwomen who are sexually active or just want to be prepared at all times should definitely carry condoms. That way, there’s no excuse to not be safe. Being sexually active is amazing. You’re in control and you want to make sure that you are always taking every precaution and having safe sex.
What does being a Babe with the Power mean to you?
Being a Babe with the Power means that I’m in control…which I love, because I have control issues. I like when everything’s organized and in its place. Life doesn’t always work out that way. There’s all these gatekeepers and barriers we have to overcome, especially as women, but it’s important to remember that we should take charge of everything that’s in our control.
Thanks to Mary Beth for catching up with us, and we’re excited to follow her on her hard-earned and hilarious journey! For more on Mary Beth and her various projects, check out herwebsiteor follow her on Instagram @marybethbarone.
Got any good dating or fuckboy stories of your own? We’d love to hear them (and possibly share them in a future post). Xx
About the Author
A sophomore at New York University currently studying Gender and Sexuality Studies, Tara Jones (@tara.michaelaon Instagram) hopes to get her Masters in Human Sexuality and go into either sex therapy or sex education. She wants to bring attention to how injustice manifests in sexual interactions and the orgasm gap. In Tara’s free time, she runs a small business designing and creating swimwear (@bytaraj on Instagram).
While all the stores are decking out for Valentine’s Day, we’re equally excited for Galentine's Day...
What is Galentine's Day?
For those of you who are out of the loop on this fabulous holiday,Galentine’s Dayis celebrated on February 13, the day before Valentine’s Day, to celebrate the love you share for your ladies (or any other platonic pals in your life).
The unofficial holiday debuted in 2010 onParks and Recreation’s sophomore season. Goddess and glorious female warrior Leslie Knope created Galentine’s Day to treat her ladies to waffles and her signature undying love. According to Leslie, “It’s like Lilith Fair, minus the angst. Plus frittatas.”
10 years later, Galentine’s Day is a real holiday during which women get together for brunch or post-work cocktails to shower each other with affection in a boyfriend-, husband-, and partner-free setting.
So this year, we’re using Galentine’s Day as a celebration of self-love. While Valentine’s Day is for couples, Galentine’s Day is for everybody!
Gift Ideas For Your Favorite Galentine
Thinking about celebrating Galentine’s Day this year? Check out our list to treat yo’ self orthe poetic and noble land-mermaidin your life.
Don’t you miss your elementary school days when you could give everyone you knew — from besties to crushes — a cute Valentine’s Day card? As an adult, it feels like the cards you find at the drugstore are excessively mushy, only reserved for long-time couples.
The Waterslyde, the latest addition to our product lineup, is an intimidation-free way to encourage your girl friends to practice self care and self pleasure. Whether your gifting it to your friend who is a pleasure product newbie or your pal whose drawer looks like a sex shop, the Waterslyde is great for starting out or switching things up. The Waterslyde is a water-diverter that can be used to practice the self-pleasurebathtub technique, to test something new during foreplay with a partner, or to practice genital hygiene. Give your gal the tool to help her ride the waves of self-love and self-pleasure!
What’s better than sharing a bottle of wine with your galentines? How about sharing a bottle of wine that gives back to women in leadership? Nasty Woman Wines is a woman-owned wine company that donates 20% of their net profits to help get more women in policy and leadership. We think theirBoss Lady Bubbles, a sparkler made with Riesling and a touch of Muscat, will bring the perfect amount of sophisticated fun to your Galentine’s Day festivities. Nasty Woman Wines recommends pairing this bubbly bottle with cheese, so get your gals together, whip up an instagramable charcuterie board, and enjoy the whole bottle with your babes.
Sometimes Valentine’s Day is best celebrated solo. If your bestie is an independent woman with a dry sense of humor, this gift is perfect for her. Vida Kush, an offbeat LA jewelry company, offers the perfect line of nameplate necklaces to let your gal keep her favorite mantra close. We’re especially in love with this “Nobody” necklace, which will help your friend send the message that her heart belongs to no one (except herself, of course).
Has your girl been feeling down about her love life lately? Is she an absolute badass and needs to be reminded? Gift her with this “Strong Women Intimidate Boys… and Excite Men” tee from Rebel Soul Collective. This shirt is the ultimate unapologetic “boy, bye” to all thefuck boyswho didn’t see your girl for the boss babe she is. To make things even better, Rebel Soul Collective offers custom t-shirt cropping services if you or your friend prefer a fun and sexy fit. To make sure the message of this tee really makes an impact, pair this gift with ourFuckboy Repellent body sprayor a night out at aDrag His Assshow.
As a pro-empowerment brand, we know how hard it can be to find quality sex supplies that don’t feel like they’re getting in the way of having a good time. Lorals, one of our friends in the sexual wellness world, offers thin latex panties that may have you or your friends saying “Yes, please!” to oral sex more often. Lorals can be used to prevent chafing, to save bedsheets during period sex, to make people feel more comfortable if they don’t want to be fully exposed, and to allow to explore healthy anal play.
Personally, we think there’s no greater gift than the gift of feeling 100% comfortable during oral. While you’re ordering a pack of Lorals for your gals, definitely order one for yourself to try out with your partner(s)!
Waiting for an engagement ring for Valentine’s Day is sooo last year. This year, gift your bestie — or yourself — with this self love pinky ring from Fred and Far. Fred and Far’s line of pinky rings serve as a symbol of commitment to self love and come with a pinky promise pact including mantras to vow to always practice self love. We all know that pinky promises are incredibly unbreakable, so making a pact for self love is definitely something we can stand behind.
Whether you’re deciding to make this commitment to yourself, or encouraging your bestie to make the pact, Galentine’s Day is the perfect excuse to start a self love journey.
Via Hulu
When your bestie doesn’t know what Galentine’s Day is:
Via NBC
So whether you’re celebrating Galentine’s Day, Valentine’s Day, or both, enjoy yourself and practice self-love all year! Stay tuned for more self-love content coming to you throughout February!
And, as always, if you have other feminist brand and products you love and want to recommend, leave us a comment and we’ll do our best to feature them in future Purse Perfect gift guides!
About The Author
Bailey Shea (@baileyksheaon Instagram) is a recent graduate of the University of Connecticut, having received a Bachelor of Arts in English and Communication with a minor in Women’s Studies. She is a strong feminist who hopes to use her future career in publishing and marketing to magnify unheard voices. Outside the writing world, Bailey is an aspiring powerlifter, the human embodiment of a sunflower, and a Taco Bell connoisseur. You can find more of her work atbaileykshea.com.
All around us, Generation Z is awakening. Armed with a burning desire for change, voices speak from every corner of the world saying just about anything and everything there is to say. So, in this rapid-fire age of information, young creatives are asking, how do we make sure that we’re heard?
If we refine our global perspective to one of the most chaotic cities in the world, and further, to one of the most chaotic industries in the world, we’ll find two Gen Z creatives hellbent on sharing their message.
Amelia BakerandMackenzie Munro, co-founders of the Los Angeles-based production company,Blonde Mamba Productions, are cool. They’re trendy. They’re strong. They’re perfectly Gen Z. And they’re undertaking powerful social projects like it’s their day job. Because it is.
The pair met at the world-renowned Cannes Film Festival as teenagers. Amelia was debuting her Stephen King short film, “All That You Love Will Be Carried Away”, and Mackenzie was showing a short film that she had written, directed and produced called “LOVE COINKY DINK”. Both films went on to garner numerous awards internationally, and – after following their own paths – the two would eventually become business partners.
With matching tattoos that christened their journey as friends, and while lovingly referring to one another as “wifey”, this dynamic duo sat down with us to share their story, the challenges they face as women in the film industry, and their projects to break stigmas and create meaningful change – most recently, taking onThe Pink Tax.
How’d you two meet?
Amelia: Mackenzie and I both grew up on set. The first thing I produced was a short film by writer Stephen King. During the writing process, the director and I turned the protagonist from male to female, and we managed to cold call and win over an incredible actress named Lesley Sharp. That film,All That You Love Will Be Carried Away, ended up going to the Cannes Film Festival, which is where I met Mackenzie.
Mackenzie: Our parents had previously introduced us by email, so our first meet-up was essentially a business blind date! We absolutely hit it off. Within 24 hours, we had matching tattoos.
You’re tackling some big issues. Where's that motivation coming from?
Mackenzie: It’s a little bit of a story for me. So here goes.
Film school is an important first step in building a career in the film industry – as university is to most areas of study. Students are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed to take what they will learn in school and develop it into a successful and happy career.
So you’re entering film school because you want to be a writer, cinematographer, producer, director, sound, crew. What if you’re toldyou can’t do something because of your gender? That you can’t hold a three-pound camera because you’re a woman. That, if you want to explore the art of cinematography, where you need to operate a camera (hello?), you first have to sign a contract obligating you to pay for the camera if you break it. (Hunny, that’s 10k you wish you had). That there’s an even higher chance you’ll break it, because – in this particular project – there’s running involved. So now its “superhigh risk” to have a woman holding the camera while she’s running, right? And, oh, it doesn’t end there. The female professor doesn’t know how to handle the situation, so she does NOTHINGandtells you to figure out how to achieve 50% of your overall mark with less than two weeks to go in some other way!
I reached out to the head of the department to discuss it, but never heard anything back. I was ignored. I was the problem.
Not cool. What kept you going?
Mackenzie: Luckily for me, I was raised by a boss lady filmmaker mom in the film industry, and I’ve been keen to pursue a career in film since the age of 8. She showed me to ignore. To continue. To kill them with kindness. And to bring the best damn running shoes you got. So I did, and that little film I made inside two weeks? It changed my life. I want to address a major problem here.Gender inequality is a problem for Hollywood, but – of course – it’s a significant problem everywhere. It happened to me and may still be happening at my university and others in Canada and the rest of the world.
So I’ve been growing a thick skin from the day I stood next to my mom on set. But what if I wasn’t? What if I was just eager to go into the industry I loved without having a clue about the way it works? If I experienced that situation, without having an idea of what was coming, I probably would have shriveled up and dropped out.
It must change. Not just at the top, but also at the beginning, especially in those first years — that first impression.
So you guys reconnected and decided to launch Blonde Mamba Productions in 2018. What’s the mission behind it?
Mackenzie: Our motto is “what doesn’t kill you gives you content” which is in parallel to our mission of going out and finding the story’s core truth. Everyone can sniff a lie — even in film and television. It’s time the voices that have been shushed are heard, and we are the ones who want to tell it.
Our motto is “what doesn’t kill you gives you content”
Do you have a different or unique approach to creating content? What’s the latest project?
Amelia: At Blonde Mamba, we don’t just believe in telling stories; rather, we build worlds with authentic perspectives and genuine voices. Not only does our slate revolve around issues of social impact, such asfeminism, mental health and homelessness, but we strive to provide a powerful platform for young creatives.
Mackenzie: An example isPink Tax, a show mixingBroad Cityand theWomen’s March. Instead of making a traditional 2D show, we wanted to blend in community and action. So, we’re making an immersive room series around the issues women face, and ‘vignettes’ with different brands, to get the Pink Tax message out worldwide.
What got you into working on the Pink Tax issue?
Mackenzie: I was in the shaving aisle looking for the pink razor I usually go for. On my way there, a men’s vibrating razor caught my attention (probably because it was a vibrating razor; sounds fun, right?). And I picked it up to check it out a bit more, thinking to myself, I wish I had a beard to try this out on. Then when I went to grab the pink razor, I took a second look at the price and realized it was almost double the price of the vibrating razor. I couldn’t help but question: What? How? Who? So I thought, okay, I’ll buy the vibrating razor and try it out. To my surprise, I came out of the shower feeling like a smooth goddess that just awoke from some bad dream about the many pink razors that have constantly cut and irritated me, and even worse—the terrifying amount of money I’d wasted on all of them.
Why do you think we’re hearing more and more about the Pink Tax?
How do you think your work with the Pink Tax has larger social implications?
Mackenzie: We hope to bring awareness to women across the globe that they’re being duped and robbed every day because of their gender. We want to get the proposedEqual Rights Amendment in the U.S. Constitutionto completely eliminate the gender pay gap, in hopes of accomplishing a massive ripple effect to full-on gender and racial equality in our world.
What is your experience as a woman in your industry? What are some of the biggest challenges you face?
Mackenzie: As a woman in the film industry, and also as a daughter to woman in the industry, I’ve almost seen or heard it all. Amelia and myself have both been caught in plenty of #metoo situations, and continue to be extra cautious before going in any meeting room. It’s tough. But teaming up together was the best decision because anything we face, we face it together. Funny enough, even together, we face some of the strangest/most demeaning situations (from men and women, by the way).
Do you see change happening in the industry?
Mackenzie: Definitely, more so in the way people are consuming content. In terms of diversity in the industry, it’s definitely shifting. Except, there’s still a large gap. And people are stuck trying to just “tick boxes,” which is very wrong and against the purpose.
Amelia: I actually just saw ‘HoneyBoy’ last night – which is about Shia LaBeof’s relationship with his dad. The film is directed by a woman, Alma Har’el AND the cinematographer is also a female, Natasha Braier… a double whammy – which is SO awesome to see right now.
What does power mean to you? What does being a “Babe with the Power” mean to you?
Amelia: Power is an incredible force. Though sometimes polarizing, power can also unite, excite and inspire. A wonderful myriad of things, power includes opening someone’s mind, implementing change or simply staying true to yourself in the chaotic wild that is Los Angeles.
Mackenzie: Being a Babe with the Power means loving one’s self, supporting others [especially women, go us!], and striving to create an explosive and inclusive space for collaboration, cultivation and expression.
For more information on Amelia and Mackenzie’s projects, check outBlonde Mamba Productions. To learn more about its campaign against the Pink Tax, you can follow on Instagram and visit their websiteto join the movement.
Where have you seen the Pink Tax pop up in your own life? Let us know in the comments below.
Thinking about having a fun, sexy night out but worried of being judged? Check out our tips to make sure you're proudly prepared and all your decisions are shame and stigma-free!
Condoms. What images does your brain conjure up when you hear the word? Well, your first thoughts of condoms should be of two VERY awesome things: birth control and safe, protected sex.
October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month! With events in full swing, we’re devoting this week’s post to what-you-need-to-know to ride Pinktober out in style! After all, breast cancer is the 2nd most common cancer in women (after skin cancer), and we know the subject hits close to home for a lot of you – as it does for all of us here at Lovability.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Don’t Forget To...
Do:
Feel Yourself Up
We want to make sure you babes stay as healthy as possible, and a super important part of that is early breast cancer detection. At 20 years old, regardless of your family history, amonthly self-checkis highly recommended. By age 45 (or earlier with family history), an annual mammogram should be scheduled (recommended for October, to keep your appointment top-of-mind each year).
The generally accepted method to self-check is to stand, and then to lay down, using a mirror and your fingers to search for any changes to your breast size, color and nipples. If you have any doubts, go to a doctor to get checked out. For a more in-depth step-by-step, we recommendCoppafeel’s Boob Check Basic’s video.
Walk it How You Talk it
Organizations likeBreast Cancer Research Foundationand theAmerican Cancer Societymake it easy to walk, run or race for a cure. You can also donate directly and/or volunteer at the many events held nationwide. Lots of ways to participate, so get out there, babe, and be part of the movement!
Plan Something
Spreading awareness is important, but raising some real cash to support the cause is SoOoO much better. Every dollar counts, so consider how you might jump in at school, work or in your community – a car wash, a fashion show, a silent auction, a friendly bake sale (with pink treats, of course), or getting to the point, a Fuck Cancer Party.
You can also reach out to local businesses and ask them to get involved. There isn’t soul alive who hasn’t been impacted, and sometimes it just takes asking.
If you or your bff has had a mastectomy and you’re curious about tatting “The Girls”, there’s a website called P.Ink that’sconnecting tattoo artists with women who want to tattoo their mastectomy scars. The Personal Ink Fund uses donations to pay artists to provide mastectomy tattoos. One such tattoo artist, David Allen, had inspiring things to say about the process. “What was clinical became beautiful again…We turned sterile into sensual. We took back control.”
This book is the true story of wife and mother, Jackie Buxton who, at age 45, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Jackie decided to write about everything she went through “to share her experiences and help others recognize you don’t have to be defined by your cancer.” We enjoyed it because it’s honest, funny and uplifting (with the right touch of English humor). And as a nice touch, all proceeds from sales of the book go to charity.
A British podcast via BBC started by three female bloggers who each had cancer, two of whom had breast cancer. These babes saw a gap in the podcast market, realizing there were so few honest and raw broadcast platforms addressing the Big C. This cheeky podcast aspires to be informative and hopeful, with each of the 43 (and counting) episodes 1 to 1.5 hrs.
The originalYou, Me and the Big Cblog hosts: Rachael Bland, Lauren Mahon and Deborah James (Since Rachael’s death from cancer in 2018, the podcast is occasionally co-hosted by her widower, Steve)
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October is quickly coming to a close, but there’s still plenty of time to jump in and support Breast Cancer Awareness Month – and encourage your friends to join you too! Xx
Far from the famed Sexual Liberation Movement of the 60s and 70s, here we are in 2019 still having to scream that our bodies are our own. It only makes sense that so many of us choose to disregard the masses and the traditional, and remove ourselves as much from the patriarchy as humanly possible.
Many of us call ourselves sexually liberated because we express ourselves how we want and have sex when we want regardless of society's opinion. But, if you really want to be in control of your sexuality and empower the women around you, Id like to suggest a few more factors to keep in mind.
You're in Control - Whether You're a Virgin or Have Sex Twice a Day
What you do with your body is YOUR choice... point blank... period. The choice to have sex is yours to make; the choice not to is yours as well. Institutions shouldnt have any say in the personal decisions you make about your body: not your abstinence only sex ed class in school, not a congressman, not a pastor, not your partner, not your classmates, not your coworkers.
Inspired by The New Women's Movement on Tumblr
Ignore the Expectations
The media and our culture are constantly telling us who we have to be. Where we have to shave, what our body shapes have to be. Have too much sex and society calls you a slut; don't have any and society calls you a prude. Its a lose-lose situation, so it's time to stop listening.
Maybe, for you, this means changing your media intake. Start following body positive, queer and POC influencers or models. Some of my favorites are @phloonie, @tessholliday, @wheelchair_rapunzel, @ihartericka, and @watchshayslay on Instagram. Theres such a diversity in women and we're all beautiful; you've gotta revamp your idea of what an Instagram baddie is.
Blogger and Advocate Alex Day, aka Wheelchair Rapunzel
It's really important to consider the porn you watch, too. If you're not seeing yourself represented, how can you visualize being autonomous in the bedroom? Switching it up will help with your feelings of deservingness in sexual interactions. Some good places to look for more representative, ethical porn are Make Love Not Porn, Crashpad Series, Pinklabel TV, and Queerporn TV.
Know Your O, and Tell Them How To Get There
Your partner is not a mind reader (wouldn't that be nice). Statistics show sex is better for all parties involved when theres communication, in fact, your sexual satisfaction can increase by 54 percent once you get to talking. Maybe you think that conversing during sex would be awkward, but communication can be sexy! Talking about what you want to do to your partners body, what you want done to yours, and what feels good, is a huge audible turn on. And communication doesn't have to be with words, its hot to physically show your partner what you like as well.
And how can you tell them how you want it if you don't know? Setting aside time to explore your body on your own is always a good idea. Investing in body-safe sex essential products, like condoms and lube, can help you discover just how you like to orgasm.
Hold Off on Judgement
Sexually liberated women NEVER judge their sisters in liberation. The world is harsh enough, and if we cant support each other, who will? If your more traditional family has something to say about your cousins crop top speak up! If you hear male friends talking about a female classmates reputation speak up!
Jessica Bennett, author of Feminist Fight Club
If you want more real life examples, statistics and information about standing up in everyday interactions, you should read the Feminist Fight Club by Jessica Bennet. It's the holy grail handbook to confronting sexism on a daily basis.
Be Proactive And Prepared
Being sexually liberated means never associating sex with guilt. Being prepared means carrying condoms and being tested regularly. Many schools, universities, and Planned Parenthood offices offer free or affordable birth control and STI testing, and now there are apps that do, too. You can try TBD Health (at-home STI test) or The Pill Club.
Being prepared also means staying educated. Learn about anatomy, about the types of sex you've never had, about the marginalization of sex workers -- learn it all. Sex positive podcasts, like Pillow Talk and Sex Ed in Color and sex positive books, like The Ethical Slut and Come as You Are, are all fantastic resources
And, most important of all, accept yourself and all the women you know. It's the only way we move forward.
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About the author
A sophomore at New York University currently studying Gender and Sexuality Studies, Tara Jones (@tara.michaela on Instagram) hopes to get her Masters in Human Sexuality and go into either sex therapy or sex education. She wants to bring attention to how injustice manifests in sexual interactions and the orgasm gap. In Tara's free time, she runs a small business designing and creating swimwear (@bytaraj on Instagram).
It's not easy for anyone these days. Attempts to take back some of the hard fought rights won over a long history of battling for women are coming from all directions.
And while we’ve taken the time to self indulge in cries and sorrow, we’d like to invite you to think about some of the women before us who made love, sex and intimacy “mainstream” and safer. We have a lot to thank them for! After all, they’ve helped create the exciting, hopeful and breath-taking world we live in. Let’s use their examples to fuel us as we fight on!
Here are a few of the “Power Babes” who’ve helped us understand our bodies, our minds and our passion just a little bit more. Thank you, ladies!
Margaret Sanger
Margaret Sangerisn’t a new name to anyone who uses birth control.
She was the original Babe With the Power. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the all-powerful Sanger, she dedicated her life to legalizing birth control. She started out in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, working as a nurse. She coined the term “birth control” in 1915 and was arrested for opening up her first birth control clinic in 1916. By 1921, she founded the American Birth Control League which became Planned Parenthood.
Every time you take your birth control, please send a warm thank you to Margaret.
Virginia E. Johnson
This name shouldn’t be new to anyone who took a high school psychology class, but she’s a pioneersex researcher goddessand we owe her a huge thank you!
She worked tirelessly with William Masters to understand sexuality and sexual intercourse and to help de-stigmatize it. In the 1960s, mind you! While people were burning Beatles albums, she was studying sexual intercouse in a lab. She was the key component for one of the largest human sexuality studies in history. Her warmth, kindness and openness was what made participants feel comfortable enough to shed their clothes and open up about their sexuality as well as be studied during the most intimate times. She never stopped learning, growing or researching sexual health and intimacy.
Dr. Ruth Westwheimer
We know her, we love her, and can only imagine how amazing family dinners would be ifRuth Westheimerwas at our table.
She’s been talking about sex since her first radio show “Sexually Speaking” in 1980, and continues to talk about it on herYoutube channel. She never misses the opportunity to give frank sex advice and the world loves her for it. She emphasizes the importance of relationships, communicating and more recently, unplugging from your phone! She gives a strong warning to long term couples as well, “Don’t let boredom creep in to the bedroom.”
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Just this year, anew documentaryabout her amazing life dropped. We totally recommend checking it out.
Everyone would have a lot less fun and be a bit more sexually confused if Dr. Ruth wasn’t such a powerful babe! Thanks, Dr. Ruth!
Julie Schwartz Gottman
Julie Gottmanis co-founder and President of the Gottman Institute, a world-renowned therapy institute for couples.
Julie has helped thousands, probably millions, of couples communicate better and increase their intimacy – physically and emotionally. She and her hubby are the pioneers in couple’s health, communication and sex research. If you ever have a fight with your partner (which is inevitable and totally normal), research "The Gottman communication techniques."
You and your partner will thank her, revel in the ease and passion of your talks, and maybe even wonder what all the fighting was about in the first place! By listening to partner interactions, even just for five minutes, the Gottman Institute can even predict the lasting of your relationship with a roughly 90 percent accuracy rate. Now that’s an amazing woman!
But our journey as women isn’t over just yet. We can all help further the mission of these sex-positive ladies by taking our sexual wellness into our own hands and becoming the empowered babes they so dreamed of! And so many modern women are doing this today. Keep checking in to find spotlights on some of our favorite badass babes, or what we like to call them – Babes with the Power!
Amy Haywood is a writer, storyteller, and part-time dog masseuse who loves spreading health and wellness empowerment to the masses. You can check out her writing and social media on her website, helloamychristine.com.
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